


pining, as always

by MarS109



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kyoutani Is Dumb and doesn't realize that his two best friends are Also In Love With Him, Kyoutani Wearing His Binder For Way Too Long, M/M, Multi, Pining Kyoutani Kentarou, Polyamory, Trans Kyoutani Kentarou, Unresovled Pining, unsafe binding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26255929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarS109/pseuds/MarS109
Summary: Kyoutani watches his best friends be dumb and he really wants to kiss them.
Relationships: Kyoutani Kentarou & Watari Shinji & Yahaba Shigeru, Kyoutani Kentarou & Yahaba Shigeru, Kyoutani Kentarou/Watari Shinji, Kyoutani Kentarou/Watari Shinji/Yahaba Shigeru, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru, Watari Shinji & Yahaba Shigeru, Watari Shinji/Yahaba Shigeru
Comments: 9
Kudos: 73





	pining, as always

One day, Kyoutani thinks, he’s going to lose it and kiss either Watari or Yahaba- probably both- and he won’t even have control over it. It’s almost insane how much Kyoutani thinks about doing it. Up until now, he never thought he’d want to kiss _anyone_ , but here he is, feeling like an idiot, watching Yahaba and Watari trying to out flirt each other with science-related pick-up lines.

They won’t admit it to him, but Kyoutani is almost certain that the two are dating. He’s brought it up, only for it to be vehemently denied by both of them (together or separate), but it was always too defensive for there to be truly nothing going on.

Kyoutani had reasoned it was because they didn’t want him to feel like a third wheel every time they hang out, especially considering that they know Kyoutani didn’t have many friends, or to be more accurate, _any_ actual friends outside of Watari and Yahaba, unless you count his dog.

But Kyoutani had long figured that he doesn’t mind the fact that they are dating. He more so minds the fact that they aren’t also dating him.

It’s not like he could just ask- well, he could, technically- but he’s sure that Yahaba and Watari are perfectly content with being exclusive to themselves. Kyoutani just felt like he doesn’t quite fit right with their relationship. He can’t flirt, or whatever Yahaba and Watari claim to be doing. He can’t even go over and hang out without making a fuss, a fun game of reluctance that usually ends with him doing whatever the two wanted anyways. To top it all off, Kyoutani doesn’t have a dick.

Kyoutani is a man, undoubtedly, no questions asked, and the note from his therapist proves it. He just has to work a bit harder to actually be perceived like a man.

Theoretically, Kyoutani didn’t think either Yahaba or Watari would hate him or be against his transness or whatever, but he’s pretty sure Yahaba is fully gay. Now, Kyoutani is a man, as established, but he’s pretty sure gay men usually prefer a genital he doesn’t posses, he doesn’t have the desired body. Even if Watari didn’t mind that, and if Yahaba does, Kyoutani can’t date just one of them. It’d put a strain on the already existing relationship and under no circumstances does Kyoutani want to be a part of that.

There are just too many ifs and buts about it that Kyoutani feels it is best to stay silent. It isn’t a risk he is willing to take. He’s been planning on at least coming out as trans once they graduate (which is alarmingly close from now), but he is probably going to keep his feelings on lock down for as long as he can help it.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever like anyone the way he likes Watari and Yahaba, and he never has. He could never jeopardize what they have now, and honestly, Kyoutani can’t tell if that is the most selfish or selfless thing he’ll ever do.

Nevertheless, he’s sitting here, watching Yahaba starting to lose his composure. The most recent line from Watari (mentioning something about his voice) turns his cheeks a rosy pink, and Koutani wants to kiss him.

Watari is holding back his laughter, looking just as pink as Yahaba. His lips are curled up and his teeth show a bit more than usual whenever he tries to speak, and Kyoutani wants to kiss him.

Trying to deflect his own embarrassment, Yahaba turns to Kyoutani and his gaze already speaks of danger. Watari focus shifts too and they start going on about how Kyoutani isn’t receiving enough attention, which Kyoutani has to protest against. But of course, they continue on anyways, looking right past his profanity and reciting lines that seem to be pulled straight off a teen magazine.

Yet, somehow, it only makes Kyoutani want to kiss them more.

Kyoutani knew he was fucked from the moment Yahaba and Watari started this. Joking around together with him, inviting him over, showing him he could trust and have fun. And what could Kyoutani do about it?

He throws the nearest pillow at Yahaba’s face and kicks Watari’s shin with another yell, and since they’re just them, they shut up and fall into peels of laughter. They know when to stop when Kyoutani feels flustered, and Kyoutani wants to kiss them.

But he doesn’t, he never has. It gets late and he walks Yahaba from Watari’s house, parting with a gruff, “Night,” as he’s done many times.

As always, his chest is tight. He always seems to keep his binder on a little too long, forgetting the time whenever he spends it in Yahaba and Watari’s company. It also doesn’t help when every time one of their fingers brush up against his, or their knees happen to knock together, it makes it even harder to breathe.

So, when he takes off his binder and brings up his arms to expand his ribcage to breathe easier, it doesn’t exactly help the racing of his heart. It seems to be working double time, as it often does after a day with Watari and Yahaba.

And it takes a while, as always, to finally relax. And as always, relaxing doesn’t mean that he’ll just stop thinking about them. Even as he lays in bed, finished eating, showering, and changing, thoughts of Yahaba and Watari still linger on his skin, as they always do.

Kyoutani sleeps without dreams- he always has- but it was something he felt indifferent towards up until Watari and Yahaba. Now, he’s just glad that his mind doesn’t hound him with thoughts of kisses, gentle touches and teasing words through the night as well.

Kyoutani sleeps well enough, and when he wakes up in the morning, he’s ready for the pains of today, as always.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello >:)
> 
> This is my first proper piece of fanfiction ever, and I am so excited to post! :D This was really fun to write and huge thanks to [Cecil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiningTsukkiEnthusiast) for being my wonderful beta and making my editing process just as fun as the writing! 
> 
> -Mar


End file.
